Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
