Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
