She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
a search helicopter?!
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
