What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
