I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize