this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
