I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
Your mouth is God's brothel.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
