she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Someone shattered a urinal.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
