she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
My life is pants optional.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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