she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Randomize
