I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Drake has all the answers
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
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