please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
