operation have a gay friend backfired
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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