I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Randomize
