I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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