Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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