I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Randomize
