I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
