and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
the day after is always just damage control
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
