this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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