i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
