Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Randomize
