i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Randomize
