She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
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