Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Randomize
