By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
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