shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
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