Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
This show inspires me to have sex in space
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Randomize
