I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize
