i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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