i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
