Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize
