why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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