I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
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the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
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Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
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