Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Randomize
