Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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