I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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