This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Randomize
