How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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