Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
