so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Randomize
