i always forget guys have bellybuttons
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
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