I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
i permit you to call me
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
