i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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