I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
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