East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Randomize
