I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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