True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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