so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
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