A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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