I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
