I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
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The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
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Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
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