***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
