3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
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