you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
The adults are the big ones right?
Randomize
