i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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