how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Randomize
