And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Randomize
