Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
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