Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
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