roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
