Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
operation have a gay friend backfired
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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