I just cut my nipple shaving
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
I just found puke in my bra..
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
