I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
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